There’s a Cat So Over My Head

Happy Wednesday! And for some of you–happy one day closer to summer break!

Have you visited Free Book Friday? If not, you totally need to jump over there. Not only do they give away books on Fridays, but this week, it's So Over My Head.  For your chances to win the book, go HERE.

So I just got a notice that the Arkansas Crisis Center is now following me on Twitter. I have to say…I'm not a bit surprised. Especially after last night's fiasco.

In case you're new here, I have a cat. Miller. And Miller is very pretty. And sweet natured. And that's about all he's got going for him. He is mentally challenged, and his world in the past 8 years has been nothing but rainbows and kibbles. But that all changed last night.

So my cat is an indoor cat. He has no front claws. About a year and a half ago, I started letting him go outside because I could tell he was bored and depressed. (He'd just become an only cat when his buddy went to the Great Meow Mix in the sky)  So I started letting him out in small doses. Now it's his crack. He's obsessed with outside. And one of the things Simple Miller loves to do is sit under  a bush right next to the road (soooo smart) and watch the ‘hood. He sits there for HOURS. Just thinking   sitting.

So yesterday I'm in my dining room and I see this white blur go by. Then two gigantic dogs (we're talking mongrels, not a tiny lab here) with trailing leashes come thundering onto my back deck. The white blur goes airborne over the side of the deck. My deck is quite a ways off the ground. If I jumped off of it, I would break at least a tibia. Perhaps a few phalanges.

These dogs are going nuts. They are working in tandem to corral my cat. They are in total predatory mode. They ain't messin' around. So I throw open the back door and storm out, and I see my cat WHO HAS NO FRONT CLAWS scale this practically branch-less tree like Spider Man. And the thing just keeps going and going and going. And I'm like oh, crap. Oh, crap.

So finally a woman peeks around the corner. She's got a couple yip dogs on leashes. We talk. I remind myself to be friendly even though I'm thinking I'm gonna have to call the freakin' fire department. Because this cat was AT LEAST 15 feet up in the tree. With no way down.

Exhibit A.

See that white blob at the top? That's my cat. Notice how there are no branches 'til the top. So nobody's climbing that thing to get the cat. No household ladder's gonna reach it. And trust me when I say no amount of spinning around 3x while blowing on a dandelion and making a wish was going to deliver the cat safely to the ground. I know many people would be totally thinking of the cat's well being here. But I thought:
1. This is going to be expensive
2. I need my camera

So the neighbor lady left with some vague “sorry my dogs got away and I wish you luck” kind of blah blah. (I'm SO not inviting her to my next neighborhood meatloaf night.) And I just stood there watching my cat high above me. Watching my cat watching me. Mills has lived a pampered life. If he were a child, he'd be wearing a helmet at all times, and I would be a total enabeling parent. He has never known a day of evil or hardship in his life. His world doesn't work that way. He lives in happyville. So I could tell his mind was totally blown.

And I waited for him to try and come down. Would he be smart enough to realize he had to back down, back feet/claws first? Would any cat? I dunno, but not this one. I waited. And waited.

Totally don't know what to do here. Aren't you going to fix this? You fix EVERYTHING!!!

Still thinking sitting.

Starting to get ticked….

Dude, why am I still HANGING here? Ever had a branch in your fuzzy gut? Not comfy. Not comfy at all.

And possibly my favorite shot. I think his face says it all.

Possible things running through Miller head:

1. *&#@!

2. Dude, mess with me again, and I will bust a cap on you.

3. I. . .am in a freakin' tree.

4. If I ever get down from here, I'm going back to sleeping 20 hours a day.

5. *&#@!!

Miller just kept looking at me like “DO SOMETHING!” and didn't really seem motivated to move himself. So I decided to go in and hope he would miraculously grow some brain cells or wings and figure this out. I went inside and went straight to my office. Just in time to see him take one step and fall all the way down to the ground, crashing into various bits of foliage as he went.

So I ran outside, expecting him to have raced away to safety. Nope. He was just standing there where he'd crashed. Dazed and confused. There were cartoon birds tweeting around his head.

Miller hates to be picked up. But I did it anyway, and this cat just held on for dear life. Then we went inside, and I sat with him on the couch, trying to figure out if anything was broken. The cat was still as a statue. Except for the fuzzy white head he hid under my armpit. Like, “Make it go away. Make the last 5 minutes just go away.” 

So the end of the story is so far the cat is fine. He was a little sore and slow moving this morning. And he spent the rest of the day and night in a daze, so I'm guessing he might've gotten a little bump on the head. And he's now walking around the house like he's Sydney Bristow on a mission, thinking those dogs are going to pop out of a closet and attack him in his home any moment. He totally did a tuck and roll just this morning.

But enough about my disaster. Unless we have more animal rumbles in the neighborhood, I'll be on YA author Nicole O'Dell's Teen Talk Radio this Thursday at 9 pm, central time.  Nicolehas a great internet radio program just about issues that affect teens.  So tune in and hear us gab about books, confidence, God, my crazy students, and things we'd tell our teen selves if we could go back. (It's some wise, wise stuff…)  Hope you'll join us!

JEN