Time Flies When You’re Watching TV
Can you believe October is almost over? Where has it gone? Where has 2010 gone?
Congrats to Deborah of Books, Movies, and Chinese Food, an excellent review blog. Thanks to Random Number Generator, Deborah won our Barnies gift card for sharing her favorite YA reads as a teen. (Deborah just email me your home addy, girl.)
I LOVED, LOVED, LOVED talking YA books. So many of you brought up books that I had totally forgotten about–like Bridge to Terabithia. I definitely remember that one now. Okay, confession, I mostly remember our elementary teachers showing us the movie. I seem to remember watching a lot of movies in elementary school. I should've been a teacher in the 80s… I think what I loved about Judy Blume was that she was funny and real. Bridge to Terabithia, Where the Red Fern Grows, Old Yeller, and other things we read in those days…sad. As in snot cry sad. I couldn't read Lurlene McDaniel for those reasons either, though she is a fabulous and prolific YA author. I don't know why 80s YA writers wanted to make people cry. 80s TV sure didn't. I grew up on the slapstick comedy of Three's Company and the realistic drama of Dynasty. Both made quite an impact in my life. I don't think TV will ever be as good as it was in the golden 1980s.
1. From Three's Company I learned that when things go wrong, all you have to do is make a funny face and run into a door and fall down, and somehow, 30 minutes later, the problem will be resolved. I also learned that every single time you eavesdrop, you will hear it incorrectly and wind up at the Regal Begal nursing your troubles with your Dickies-wearing landlord and a sloe gin fizz.
2. From Dynasty I learned when you get in an argument with another woman, your choices for a resolution are to slap them in the face or push them into a pool. I also learned the size of your shoulder pads are directly proportional to the number of husbands you've divorced. Just like Alexis Morrell Carrington Dexter Rowan.
3. From Who's the Boss, I discovered that the reason my house isn't clean is because I don't have an Italian man living with me. But for the sake of dust bunny elimination, I have asked for one for Christmas.
4. While watching Punky Brewster, I learned during a special kid-written episode, that I should never close myself in the refrigerator because I could die. It didn't make for a very interesting show, but I think of it every time I want to climb in and spend some quality time with the leftover lasagna.
5. The Facts of Life was a favorite. I remember watching this character named George in the later episodes and thinking, “That guy has got something.”
I also remember asking my mom if I could go to a boarding school because I wanted to be friends with Nat, Tootie, Blair, and Jo. She said, “You know they don't live at home right? They never see their parents?” This changed everything. I was too attached to my mom's homemade mac and cheese to trade it all in for a dorm room and a navy blazer.
6. From Moonlighting, a show about David Addison and Maddie Hayes, I learned that man vs. woman arguments are best resolved when you both talk at the same time. Sadly, I couldn't find a clip of this, but Castle would love to have half the sizzle these two detectives had.
(Forward to minute 4:37 and stop at 5:33)
7. From Kate and Allie I learned if you cheat in college you get kicked out. This literally stuck with me through the 90s. Fortunately, shoulder pads did not.
8. From the Cosby's I learned that if your dad wears ugly sweaters, sometimes people still like him anyway. Especially if he sells Jello pudding pops.
9. I watched Designing Women because those ladies talked like me. Especially Bernice. Who rarely had a clue what was going on.
10. From watching Murder She Wrote, I now know the butler never does it. And every mystery can be solved with a bicycle ride and a few winks to the local sheriff.
11. I adored the Golden Girls. I would watch it with my grandmother and she would cover her mouth when she laughed, look at me and say, “We shouldn't be watching this. This isn't a very nice show.” Then turn up the volume.
12. I learned Fraggle Rock was the rich people's Muppets and taught me I couldn't have everything I wanted. Like HBO.
“I better do like a doozer does and get going.” Good words to live by. You don't learn this stuff with basic cable. Just think how my life could've been different if I had known this 25 years ago.
13. Little House on the Prairie taught me the power of patience. Because I woulda hauled off and decked that Nellie Olson right in the schnoz. And her mother too. Heifers. I also learned living the simple life was more stressful than one would think. Every episode someone died, someone lost a dog, someone learned a lesson, someone got hitched, someone got blind, someone got run over by a wagon wheel, or someone lost their home. It was exhausting.
14. By watching MacGyver I learned if I was stuck in a bad situation I would need a can of hair spray and a piece of gum. Because I would want good hair and fresh breath when I just laid down and died. Problem solving is not my gift.
15. From Hee-Haw I found that you can sing better with big boobs.
(Reason number 293 why I still don't have a record deal.)
So what about you? What were your favorite TV shows growing up? For some of you, that's last week. For some of you bigger girls…a wee bit earlier. Let's hear it!
And finally, I wanted to include the best moment from TV 2010. This is the best thing I've ever seen. From Glee (and rated G. Promise.)
Have a great week!
