I Have Confidence In Me

Happy Monday!

First of all, I'm giving away a Reader's Advanced Copy of Save the Date to one lucky winner. You can see the details HERE. Or maybe this winner won't be so lucky. Read on. . .

I was watching a small bit of the Rally for Sanity by Colbert and Stewart, and Sheryl Crow came out and sang, first with Kid Rock, then by herself. And she looked so confident. When she opens her mouth, something good is normally gonna come out. And she knows it. I thought how different that was from writing–and maybe other things we attempt. Sheryl knows her voice. We all know when we hit a note or not. We can hear it. There has to be security in that. But when I write a book, I have no idea if it's good or not. I know when I teach a good lesson.  I know before I get a single comment if something I've cooked is good…or if it needs a date with the disposal. But writing? Who knows.

Sometimes on Twitter or Facebook every once in a great while I'll see an author say something like, “I am loving my book!” Or “Just turned in my novel and it's the best I've done yet!”  I think it's cool they know this. It implies confidence in the finished product. And that they can see the big picture. Most of us don't experience this. To me, writing is like blindfolding yourself, painting a picture, and then being asked what I think about it. I can tell you went into it, but I have no clue what the finished product looks like. When I turn in a book, here's what I do know for sure:

1. I've gained at least 5 lbs
2. There are definitely words. On a page. And they make sentences. Most of them.
3. There are some characters. And they talk and stuff.
4. I know my three line dedication has some good punctuation.
5. I believe with all my heart the first chapter makes sense. Chapters 2-40? Iffy.
6. Pretty much all my self-worth is tied up in this one book, and if one single person gives me an Amazon 3 stars, I'm going to have to spend the next six months reading inspirational books by Zig Zigler, Dale Carnegie, and Dolly Parton.

So where do we get confidence? I have studied this topic of late and have come to a few conclusions. Some tips I'd like to share, if you will:

1. You need T.I.

As I was watching Sheryl Crow sing one number with Kid Rock, whose song was genuinely good (further proof the world is falling apart, Mr. John Stewart), T.I. comes on and does a cameo. On the big screen. Prerecorded. Because he's in prison. But rap stars make everything better.  Whether it's a date, your job interview, or meeting your mother-in-law for the first time, wouldn't it help to know in those awkward moments, a rap star could make a small appearance and highlight what you've already got going on?  Case in point, Justin Bieber did a song with a rap star. He's a mega star. Clay Aiken has not done a song with a rap star. I rest my case.

2. An entourage.

Nothing says, “I'm a somebody” like having your very own cloud of followers hovering around you. When I go to book signings, there are often three people there. Two of them share my last name. The third I paid. But when I arrive at events with a posse, someone to hold my coat, someone to bring me Sonic lemon water, someone to tell me Spielberg is on the phone. Again. These things make an impression. And it inspires confidence in those observing. And makes me feel cool.

3. Bump-its.

In the 80s we used to say, the bigger the hair, the closer to God. (Or was that the more we burn out the ozone with our Aqua-Net, the sooner we'll SEE God?)  When you rock the big hair, it says don't mess with me. It says, I know who I am. And I am a big haired girl. It says, my hair contains mysteries. And maybe a few chicken legs tucked within. People don't doubt you nearly as much as they doubt scrawny haired girls. Just look at Gwynyth Paltrow. She's now singing country music. Not buying it, twiggy. Not buying it.

4. Quoting the Bible and/or foreign policy from CNN.

Whenever someone can do either one of these, I'm instantly impressed. My next book already features Bible references, but now it will also include mentions of Israeli lobby groups, Mexican drug cartels, and Kosovar refugees. Try this on your first day of school/work, and see if you don't make instant friends. They'll be like, “Ohhh, that girl knows something.”

5. Wear leather.
I don't really think I need to expound on that one.

This is my public service announcement for the month. It was a toss-up between this and my “don't choke on a turkey bone” lecture. But I think I'll save that one for Christmas.

Have a great week.