Christmas Tunes of the Holly Jolly Variety
Hands down, Christmas Shoes was the most detested Christmas tune. Agreed! Agreed! Who in their right mind puts sad, let's go pick out a gravestone for Mommy's Christmas stuff in a song? WHO? If you are interested in breaking into the holiday song business, let's establish some rules we've learned from everyone's comments:
1. Do not run over Grandma.
2.Nobody wants to hear about your Christmas tree. Unless it's a Transformer or something.
3. If they could make a TV movie from your lyrics and it involves cancer, homelessness, or a child selling his soul for a gift, NO! NO! NO!
4. Do not kill mothers. Do not even give her a winter sniffle.
5. Do not sing about orphan children.
6. Nobody should be kissing Santa Claus. I'm sorry your mother is a holiday jezebel, but leave Santa out of it.
Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time is awful. Apologies to you Sir Paul loyalists. It sounds like one of those songs you make up in the shower where you sing the same brilliant three lines over and over because that's all you came up with before the shampoo starting stinging your eyes.
I also agree with those of you who are not digging His Favorite Christmas Story by Capital Lights. He goes his whole life without the love of his life then meets her at Christmas in his last days…in a NURSING HOME? What THE HECK? That's Christmas? That makes me want to eat donuts and smash my radio which plays that song NONSTOP on our pop stations and Christian station here. Cannot get away from that.
So new question: Favorite Christmas song? I've said this before, but mine is O Holy Night. I am not the biggest fan of Christmas music, but I love that one. And I like anything that's done differently with new arrangements. (Straight No Chaser is good at this.) I'm still a sucker for Wynona Judd's Mary Did You Know (which is lame, I know), and I like Ring the Bells by Travis Cottrell and Natalie Grant, but I can't find a clip or video anywhere. And looking for that accidentally led me to this awesome song, which is not for Christmas. For old classics I like Mahalia Jackson, who was always on the old albums my mom and I would listen and decorate to.
And this is going to become a new classic for sure:
I think Merna's ticked. Henrietta wore the sweater she had all picked out, but Merna didn't have time to guard her closet because she was making kissy faces at her Rob Lowe posters and Aquanetting her bangs.
So let's hear your favorite Christmas song. And if you pick Christmas Shoes, Santa will never speak to you again.
