They Call THIS Puppy Love?
So…I have the puppy.
Check out that face.
Miller the Puking Cat has gone nuts of course. Here’s his first reaction.
Doing a little stress eating. Notice the demon eyes. I don’t think that’s a trick of the light.
Exhibit B…check the eyes.
Miller can’t stand to be in the house right now. And every time he goes out the door, I say, “Be sure and come back.” I don’t think there are any Amber Alerts for distressed cats.
I had no idea–NO IDEA–puppies were so high maintenance. Yes, you have to take them out, feed them, give them some chin scratches, but this puppy is like a stinkin’ baby. If she’s not napping she’s crying to be picked up. And she has these little claws. Claws she uses to try to climb up my pant leg when I don’t immediately swoop her into my totally aggravated arms. Seriously she just wants to be held. And held. And held. It’s like I need one of THESE. Do they make doggy Bjorns?
Cats are so much more independent. Even kittens. They’re perfectly capable and content to entertain themselves. Sure kittens like attention, too, but they don’t demand it in high pitched wails hours at a time until they pass out in an exhausted heap on the couch.
This morning the puppy and I had to have a little talk. She was being all clingy, so I took sympathy on her and brought her into the bathroom with me as I was getting ready. It wasn’t good enough. Whining. Barking. Batted her little puppy eyelashes. So I’d pick her up every once in a while and give her some attention, then put her back down. More whining, jumping, crying. (And the dog didn’t act so well either.) So finally I had to pick her up and say, “Look, have some dignity. Where’s your self-respect? You’re a lady. We do not whine and beg. We are not needy. We are independent, self-sufficient, and we do not sniff ears.” She didn’t really care. I’m thinking of naming her June Cleaver.
So…between my inability to appease this dog and Miller’s “get the crap out of my house” hissing, the puppy might not feel as comfy as she could. In fact, right now she’s hiding behind a throw pillow on the couch. Asleep. With her head tucked into the seat cushion. Like she’s wishing for suffocation or something.
I don’t know, guys. I don’t know about this puppy business. And don’t even get me started on the pee pads. My goal is to totally achieve puppy pad success (which is pretty good), then transition the nasty things to an empty litter box, then transition from there to a puppy litter box (while also training her to go outside). I’ve been told that’s impossible. That sentiment just adds to my exhausted joy over this whole situation.
On a happy note, she is a good little nap buddy. We’ve both fallen asleep on the couch the last two days. And when I woke up today I noticed one of us had really bad breath. I’m gonna blame that on her.
And it’s possible I’m just a one pet type of girl. My mom recently reminded me of when I was about 13 or 14 and I “had” (you have to really stress that word when she’s telling it) to have a puppy. So they get me one and within 12 hours I was done with it. I had my beloved cat and buddy, Celie, and she was FURIOUS. Miller’s not happy, but this cat was freak-out furious. Wouldn’t come near us. So the dog was whining that first night and it drove me nuts, plus my cat had probably packed up and moved in with the neighbors, and at two in the morning, as I sat on the front steps watching the puppy NOT go to the bathroom, I told my mom I didn’t want the dog anymore. And he became her puppy. And so did the one that came after him.
I just don’t like to see the first animal, who has dibs on the house, upset and feeling replaced. It’s possible if I ever have children I should just have one. Because I’ll be the mom who brings home baby number two, sees Kid One turn up his nose, and then swings by the hospital to see what their return policy is. But surely that’s semi-normal. Right? (I know, it’s not. But in my defense, I was put in one too many choke-holds as a small child by my brother. Blame him.)
Have a great rest of the week. Don’t forget, you definitely want to get in the running for C.J. Darlington’s debut book Thicker than Blood. All you need to do is go to Monday’s post and leave a comment to get in the drawing.
Pray for my new dysfunctional family.
JEN